The Top 10 Villains
Have you ever wondered, while say, watching a church burn down, or seeing countries destroyed, or orphans... I dunno... ground into mulch, “man, just who could be evil enough to do such a thing?!” However, if yer like me, more likely you would think, “wow... that’s pretty crazy... mulch-kids... I wonder who’d be evil enough to do that... and then I further wonder what 9 other evil doers would, or would not. Hmm... ponderous...” Thus, we get to this article! Wee!
Speaking as an evil super-genius bent on world domination myself, this article is a personal one for me. I’ve learned so very much from all of those who participated. Anyways, let’s begin what is surely to be the article voted most likely to make small children cry... before they get mulched. The Top 10 Villains!! Here we go...!
10. Dr. Claw (Inspector Gadget)
The head of MAD actually had a lot going for him. For one, he consisted entirely of a steel gauntlet, spikes, a lazy-boy recliner, and a voice so evil it’s make Hitler weep. Also, he had Mad Cat - who is basically the only reason he made it into the top 10 - cause Claw had a lot of flaws as well. For one, he surrounded himself with idiots. Now while these idiots were in EVERY SINGLE PART OF SOCIETY IMAGINABLE!! They were still idiots. As a result, Claw never got much accomplished. Sure, he threatened well, but that’s about it. Plus, in the movie, his name got a bad wrap put to it. Sorry dude. You just didn’t have what it takes...
9. Daedilus (the original ‘Hercules’ cartoon... the one with Toot)
Daedilus was actually front runner for the #10 slot or less, until I realized something that made me at least make him one better. Sure, Daedilus accomplished less than any cartoon character ever could, but, unlike Dr. Claw, Daedilus was going up against Hercules - I mean... dude had the strength of 10 ordinary men, AND a magic ring!! Seriously! Claw went up against Gadget a man, who given the chance COULD work his way up to ‘retarded’ (don’t get me wrong, I love Gadget, but it’s true, you know it) AND he could turn his finger into a key. Good effort Daedilus - at least you lost to a challenge.
8. Evil T-1000 (Terminator 2)
Now here is one sick son of a bitch. True, he too failed to succeed in his true goal, but he DID manage to kill a LOT of innocent people. And how did he do this? Well, various ways, but the bets would have to be STABBING PEOPLE IN THE FACE WITH A SPIKE THAT WAS HIS HAND!!! He get’s points for creativity.
Plus, even when he was in his ‘normal human’ mode - he still looked psycho - and does to this day!
7. Krang (TMNT)
Again, another candidate who fell just short of the mark of actually doing anything bad, we have Krang. He’s made it this far ONLY based on creativity points. He’s a slimy talking brain. In a robot-man’s torso. He’s overlord of a place called “Dimension X” and he lives in a big ball with an eye attached to it. Very evil indeed.
6. The Borg (Star Trek: TNG, DS9, Voyager, the movies, etc... but best on TNG)
I can’t even think of ways to describe the evilness that is the Borg. So, I’ll just describe they’re coolest act ever: They not only defeated, but also made Capt. Picard one of them! That’s just friggin’ crazy! All nerds within the sound of my voice, tremble! That’s right - Jean-Luc Picard! Taken by the Borg! Plus, they usually have weird eye-pieces that make that drilly “robot-noise” - that’s a sure sign of evil right there.
And just look at those friggin' ships! The go around in giant cubes! Evil cubes...
5. Dr. Wiley (the illustrious Megaman series of video games/shows)
The thing about Wiley is that he’s tough to kill. I mena, he survived through, like, more than a dozen games, and still remains as maniacal as ever. Not only that, but he’s unleashed some of the most power killer robots that mankind has ever seen! Blademan, Snakeman, Iceman... the list goes on and on! But it’s not those guys that top the cake... the most evil creation of Dr. Wiley: those little yellow-helmet-guys that only come to live when you walk by them, then they spit 3 plasma balls at you! He made those! The sick bastard!
4. The Joker (Batman... duh)
Probably THE best villain of the great Batman series of everything, the Joker is a creature of pure insanity. Though he’s often called the ‘clown prince of crime’ (quite the cool title actually) he’s also been compared directly to Satan. He’ll just do incredibly evil things - just for a laugh! He’s been in asylums more times than I can count! And he’s always SO close to killing Batman! AS much as I love Batman, if I had to see him go, I’d like it to be amusing, and the Joker is the only man with the chops to pull that one off. It’s not just any old villain that can be called “The arch-villain of Batman” (as we all know, Batman is the coolest guy ever, so yeah... the Joker MUST be by comparison) Plus, the guy tried to steal Christmas once! Really, he did... it was an episode called “Christmas with the Joker” (one of my favorite episodes... look it up!)
3. Skeletor (He-man - but please tell me you knew that)
True - Skeletor never accomplished a damn thing. True, Skeletor could be almost annoying sometimes. True, he was the epitome of the ‘bungling villain’ but he’s not without his evil merits. For one - he’s got a SKULL FOR A FRIGGIN’ HEAD!! For 2, he’s just evil. Most of our villains on this list have reasons for their evilness; personal gain, revenge, insanity, etc. Skeletor has never really given a reason. He just does evil things for the sake of being a terrible monster. Plus, he often shoots his own men with beams from his Havoc-staff just for giggles... very, very maniacal giggles.
2. Sauron (The Silmarilion, LOTR... books)
It takes a LOT of evil-power to be known as “the Dark Lord of Middle Earth.” Though, in fairness, when just reading LOTR, I always thought Sauron was a fairly powerless fiend. HE had powerful forces and all, but that was just that - he didn’t really do anything himself. But oh man... in that intro for “Fellowship of the Ring” when he stomps down the field and just kills like 50 guys per swing of his giant man-twaining sword - that is one evil dude. Then, you also have to realize, Sauron has actually been alive in the run of things for all time. He’s outlived the actual evil god of Middle-Earth - which would make him, more or less, the evil god himself. That’s quite the title as well. Sauron really had it all going for him. PLUS look at the guy! He’s terrifying!
1. Darth Vader (if you don’t know: 1. Why are you here? 2. Please leave.)
Sure, it takes a lot of power to be known as “the Dark Lord of Middle-Earth.” However, it takes a lot MORE to be known as “the Dark Lord of the Galaxy!!” That’s right, the man in black himself, right hand man of the Empire, and Lord of the Sith, Darth Vader is our #1 villain. Sure, you may think I’m biased, but it’s MY list, so I don’t really care. There are a good number of reasons that make Vader our #1 here today. I’ll just rhyme off a few, just to give you an idea of the guy, assuming you’ve never seen Star Wars/talked to me ever.
Vader kills people. By the hundreds. He even kills his own men Just by thinking about it. And when he does, and everyone around him has done a good job of wetting themselves, he just marches off like nothing happened at all. Evil. He’s the second most powerful man in the most evil/powerful organization in the universe... however he DOES kill the Emperor (sorry for that ‘spoiler’... just watch the damn thing!), so I guess that would make him the first. He’s almost entirely robot - thus he’s got a lot of cool points. He tries, numerous times to kill Luke Skywalker, thus putting him very, very high in my mind. He drives a huge-assed ship, and has fleet after fleet of other huge-assed ships at his disposal who will kill whatever he says to kill, assuming he doesn’t just do it himself with a thought. He’s dressed entirely in black, and sounds a lot like James Earl Jones. All in all, he’s not the kinda guy whose mother you’d wanna make fun of. Kudos Darth Vader. You set the bar a little higher for all of us. Applause.
And so goes the top 10 villains. I hope you have learned a few things. Also, you should get pointers from each of them for yer own evil schemes - but know that it is irrelevant... the world is mine.