Blackout 2007: Newer Nightmares

Hmm... ideas for a Halloween article... ideas. Oh! Hey, I just got a great idea! What if we did another Blackout story! Blackout 2007!

But, you ended the Blackout series with Blackout 2006. You called it 'The Final Chapter and made it very clear that it was the last one. Hell, you turned everyone into zombies! There's no one left who can even still be in it!

But, I even wore the same shirt as the last Blackout! Oh, and by the way, you're wrong! There's still the original hero from the original Blackout 2004! The one who slayed all the zombies! The world's mightiest man Todd Pettigrew! And, I'm willing to bet he'd do it too! It just takes like 2 minutes to pose for the pictures! Why the hell wouldn't he?! Let's go to his office and just ask him!

Oh no! Todd's dead! Now he'll never be able to star in Blackout 2007. Dammit! And he's not even a zombie or anything. If he was a zombie we could at least work with that! It just looks like he's dead. I'd at least hope it would have come from the same tack that he killed with in the 2004 one, but even that seems unlikely, what with all the blood. Well, that sucks. I guess we'll just go back to the office then. *leaves*

Mere moments later.....

Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dunnnnnnnnnnnnn! Meanwhile, back at the station, our heroes are just arriving when they hear...

What was that noise?
I dunno, but it sure sounded spooky! Possibly it's a murderer! Or a zombie! Or both - the very one that killed Todd! Man, that would be ironic!
No it wouldnt.

Oh! I guess it was just the wind coming through this open window! Man, that was totally silly, and not at all spooky! I guess we can go back to relaxing and trying to figure out what to do about this whole "how can we replace Todd" thing. Gosh, I'm just really glad it wasn't a murderer at all!

But... if it wasn't a murderer, then why is Brent dead?! And where did he get that rice crispie treat?! Man, this actually IS getting spooky. Maybe hell end up turning into a zombie, and we can just go with that?

Nope, I guess not. This is the first year in 4 years that Brent has not been a zombie. Man... end of an era, or what? Anyways, I'd better get help!

I think I hear someone in this back booth! Maybe they can help! I sure hope it's not a murderer! And I certainly hope it's not the re-animated corpse of someone who was presumed dead earlier in this very same story... I mean... not story. Just reality.

Well, the good news is that it wasn't a murderer OR a zombie or anything that could/would kill me at all! Phew. The better news is that it IS someone who could help us in this dire situation - Kyle, one of our trusty DJs. The bad news is that hes dead, so I guess he won't be helping us afterall. The badder news is that he doesn't seem to be a zombie either. Man - for all this talk of Blackout, there seems to be very little going on in that tradition... Anyways - I've gotta figure out how to get some help!

I know! I'll just call someone for help! Possibly 9-1-1, or the police, or just Sting, or the Ghostbusters, or Ray Parker Jr, or anybody! Man, that was a convoluted way of taking up a decent amount of space to make this picture not seem like a waste.

Oh no! The phone is also dead! Someone severed its jugular, and it too is dripping blood everywhere! Just like all the other things that are dead around me! Man! There is a massive mess on the floor of, like, every room in this station! I'm glad cleaning isn't my job. I think I need to sit down - take all this in, and figure out a plan.

Yup, this is a lot better. I'll just wait and figure something out. It's not like there's someone behind this small chair waiting to kill me! I mean, I would have clearly seen them before I sat down. I'm all alone. Who's taking all these pictures, anyways? I guess it doesn't really matt... oh my god! Who's hand is that coming at me! It's the murderer! I can just tell! Don't ask!

Is it a zombie Brent?
Is it the corpse of Todd?
IS it... I dunno... that little puppet guy from Blackout 2005?!

Oh. It was Andrew - another of Caper Radio's DJs. I guess he's the murderer... He's covered in blood, most of which he tells me is not his. Yeah - I guess he's the murderer afterall. Well, that was certainly random. Good enough.

But wait - if Andrew was the killer, then why all that stuff about Todd being alive afterall? I mean- where'd he go off to?

Haha! I guess Todd was a zombie afterall! He just got trapped in his office! Oh Todd! What will you do next? Hopefully star in the next Blackout story? Hmm?

Also, it's good to see that Brent wasn't dead either! It seems he just choked on his rice-crispie treat and banged his head off the table! Some bandages will help that nicely. All in all, I'd say this story is all wrapped up then. Hooray!

Oh, also - it turns out that Brent actually was a zombie. Sorry, that must have slipped by me towards the end there. Either that or he's getting trickier to figure out when he's a zombie or not. If it's anything, he's a happy zombie! One that wants you to go see the 3rd annual Halloween Spooktacular put on by Improv U on October 29th, 7pm at the Boardmore Playhouse, CBU. Good plug, zombie Brent.

THE END?!?...?