Halloween Candy Reviews

For the past few weeks Brent and I have been having to kill about 6 hours of time on Friday afternoons. Coming up with ways to do so was becoming quite difficult. That is, until the greatest time of the year started up. That’s right - Halloween was our savior. Is there anything it can’t do?

Our reviews were of 7 different kinds of candy. The Allan pack consisting of Cherry Blasters, Swedish Berries, Fuzzy Peach and Sour Patch Kids. That was the high-end stuff. The lower-end stuff came to us from “Chocolate Country” which we could only assume (due to the writing on the back of the label) must have been an Arabic nation. It was Nutty Bite, Smooth Delight, and Strawberry Burst. How would all of this stuff compare? Find out... soon!

The reviews done by Brent and myself were three-fold in the actual eating process.
1. Initial taste - we took one of each candy, and ate them in succession just to get an understanding of what each one was.
2. Selection - each candy was given individual attention.
3. Downing ‘em - taking a candy, shoving all the content of its wrappers into yer mouth, and taking it all in one go. Werd.

Here’s our results, with pictures to add at least another 1000 words to each review. Enjoy!

1. Cherry Blasters:
James - 6/10
Comments: Not quite as sour as I’d expect, but good candy taste. After taste causes confusion - kinda like burning and cough-syrup. The flavour was kinda bland actually. Cherry is over-rated. The downing of them seemed pointless; no different than selection really.

Brent - 7/10
Comments: Probably my least favorite of the four chewy candies we tasted. I find they taste kind of awkward, but oddly enough, are easier to eat if you down the whole bag. But, they’re classic Halloween candies.

2. Sour Patch Kids:
James - 7/10
Comments: Green = not that sour; red = a bit more sour; yellow = lemony; orange = meh. Downing them was painful but flavourful. I didn’t like them so much on the initial, but they redeemed themselves.

Brent - 9/10
Comments: The sour is the fun. I like the various flavours in each bag. Surprisingly easy to eat a whole bag at once. Also leaves you with a sense that you’ve accomplished something... something delicious.

3. Smooth Delight
James - 4/10
Comments: First taste isn’t that bad. Middle is terrible. After-taste isn’t that bad again. Watching Brent made this one worth it.

Brent - 2/10
Comments: This is one of the worst things I’ve ever eaten. It geta a 2 for the sake of humour. I consider it a confectionary WMD. If you’ve curious about the taste, think about eating and aborted fetus wrapped in sadness.

At this point, we needed a break. The Smooth Delights were just not sitting all that well. So, off we went to the arcade to have a game of “Bust-A-Move,” which has become our obsession over the past few weeks. Dunno why, but that game is awesome.
After that, it was back to the candy!

4. Swedish Berries
James - 9/10
Comments: These are always delicious, but eating a bunch of them at once is basically pointless. Quite good on second eating though. One at a time, these guys shine.

Brent - 10/10
Comments: I love Swedish Berries! They have no sour taste to them and they’re totally sweet. Man, the Swedes got it good. Good taste and they’re easy to down quickly. I always think of Halloween when I eat these.

5. Nutty Bite
James - 2/10 Comments: First taste made me wretch and the second taste almost killed me. There was no third. Also, it felt like there was ants in it. Hilarious puking though.

Brent - 3/10 Comments: This one I actually spit out. But it was as if the other chocolates fused their “flavour” into it. A frightening display of brown horror. Therefore it fits Halloween better than the Smooth Delight.

6. Strawberry Burst
James - 5/10 Comments: I actually didn’t mind these. Tasted kinda like bad neopolitan ice cream. It’s bad, but it’s okay. Plus, coming after the Nutty Bite, it was like eating heaven.

Brent - 4/10 Comments: This one was the better of the “chocolates.” It still had a miserable taste to it though. Kind of like when you’re a kid and your mom puts medicine in your ice cream so you’ll take it cause you’re sick but you can still taste the medicine and you’re like, “Hey, you put medicine in my ice cream.”

7. Fuzzy Peach
James - 10/10 Comments: Easily my favorite candy of the day. Great initial taste, downing them works cuz you get 2 distinct tastes (first sugary then peachy). Also, it meant that we were done this stupid idea.

Brent - 9/10 Comments: These are the best peach product on the market. They taste great and pack a passionate peach punch. Oddly, these were the hardest to down, but they can’t have Halloween without them.

And that's all of them. The winners of the day were Fuzzy Peach and Swedish Berries. The clear loser of the day was the Nutty Bite. Well, that and me and Brent. Doing the math, we ate 28 candy-things each that fateful day. Enough to make you feel weird for the rest of the day. A lump of plastic-cement in yer gullet, and quite the mess on our usually spotless table.