Top 10 Reasons Why Autumn is Awesome
I’m not a big fan of summer. Never have been, never will be. Nowadays it’s mostly on account of my near constant and incredibly irritating allergies (for those who aren’t in ‘the know’ I’m pretty much allergic to all things that have to do with the outside - pollen, weeds, most grass, bug bites, sunlight and outside), but for all my life I was always a “fall-kid”. Fortunately we’re almost at that time of year where the seasons make their big change from “growth and life” to “dying and dead.” I love the fall for various reasons. Fortunately I have a webpage, so I can tell you the 10 best reasons why that is so in convenient list form, quite probably with pictures! I’m not saying that this one list is the only reason that thePS has ever existed, but that’s a fun lie, so let’s go with it.
10.The Smell - Did ya ever notice that Autumn has a smell to it? I thought that I was the only one who noticed this, but it turns out I’m not. We actually had a discussion about it a few weeks ago. One of the most meaningful conversations I’ve ever had. My life now has meaning. Autumn has a smell.
9. Complete Lack of Insects, for the most part - that’s right. I’m very glad that the average life span for most of the moreso annoying insects is just a few days or so. I’m moreso glad that none of those days are in the fall. Too cold for the bastardly flies and earwigs. The true indicators of all things evil. Which means that I can run around in shorts and a t-shirt worry free for the first time in months... that is if it weren’t for #8!
8. It’s Sweater Weather! - I hate heat. I love sweaters. Heat kills sweaters. Autumn kills heat. Autumn is the hero of all sweaters everywhere. Hail Autumn.
7. New stuff - New fall-schedule (in theory) comes along, oddly enough, in the fall. It’s as if they planned it that way or something. Also it brings about a new year of school, which I still actually do look forward to. Especially this year. I miss school. I also miss Pac-Man cereal.
6. Turkey Day - Also known as Thanksgiving, but who really cares? The important thing is that there is turkey involved. I love turkey. Maybe even more than I love sweaters. But man... if there was a turkey that came wearing a sweater... no... that would suck. It would almost definitely ruin both. But, if the turkey came with a free sweater offer or something. THAT would be pretty great. Mmmm... dead bird and free sweaters...
5. Gobblefest - another great part of Turkey Day is the annual CBLocals spectacular known as Gobblefest. Now if yer not from CB (then how do I know you? And, if I don’t, what the hell are you doing here?) Gobblefest is a huge weekend-long festival with the best of the best in local music and so forth. Other bands from all over the maritimes play too, and beyond. One time Gob even played! Wow! They don’t get much bigger than Gob. And the logo of Gobblefest? A rockin-out-turkey! 2 things I greatly love. Slap a sweater and a bug-zapper into that, and we got it made, wha.
4. Strawberry-Orange-Banana Juice - Okay, you have to really think about this one to get the connection to the fall. It’s there though, so think about it. Okay, so there’s no connection to the fall at all. But, it’s really great juice! Drinking it makes any day better! So drinking it in autumn - if you get to pick a day to die, I think we just found it.
3. The Leaves - I know it’s very over-done, but leaves in the fall are awesome. The color changing is pretty to see. The dead, crunchy ones are fun to play in. The fact that the whole process is so easy to make metaphors with. It’s an emo-kids dream. Winter-wonderland my ass.
2. Interchangeable Names - as you’ve noticed throughout this article, I’ve used two names for it: fall and autumn. No other season has that kind of versatility. Not even spring - nemesis to fall. Anywho. Both these names are cool. However, I’m partial to fall, as it leads to a great gag. I’m willing to bet that you and everyone you know, not matter how much they hate “all things corny” has at some point in their life said upon watching a friend/loved one fall said, “Hey! Have a nice trip! See ya next fall!” I love wordplay. And turkey. And sweaters. And the falling of friends/loved ones. Bliss.
1. Halloween - Truly a great day. A day of kings. No other season can boast free candy. I mean, sure winter offers free toys and whatnot, but you have to behave for it. Though, I have nothing against winter. I can’t say the same about summer... hate that guy so much... now where was I? Oh yes, Halloween! Halloween really has it all going for it! Free candy, costumes, etc! Oh, if only someone would make a list of reasons why Halloween was awesome! Man, I could think of at least 102 reasons why! If only someone would make that article... no wait...
Well, that’s it - the top 10 reasons that etc. Not only does this page now have it’s full purpose realized, but now your life has meaning. Simply reading this list has done more for you than any schooling, level of skill or love could ever even dream of. You are now the supreme human. However, so are others who have read this article, so I guess it all balances out.