html> Your source for pudding... and other stuff Okay, so here's the thing. I wrote this article for the Caper Times for thsi weeks edition, and it didn't frickin' get printed (as it was claimed it didn't exist... of all the...) Anyways, this was on my Birthday, so I was a little bit pissed, until I raelized: I have the friggin' PuddingStore at my disposal! A thing at least twice as godo as the Caper Times! Not to bash the CT, it's a fine "newspaper" - I'm just bitter right now is all. Anyways, so here is said article in it's entirety. Enjoy!

Et Cetratarian: The Halloween Episode

First of all, I must give myself some hard earned kudos on that title up there... “The Halloween Episode”! How do I come up with this stuff?! Anyways, the point of this weeks little thingy is, Halloween movies (or scary movies... very few actual “Halloween movies.” Like, I don’t think “Ernest Scared Stupid” is on here... but I dunno, as I haven’t written it yet, so I guess we’ll see. Bracket!) I know I like to watch scary movies on Halloween, usually in the form of a marathon. And the fact that Halloween is on Friday this year lends itself perfectly to just that. So, here’s my top 10 “Scary Movies” list.

Oh yeah, before I get started, I should like to take this point to mention that most of these movies are not actually scary, but could be, if you squint real hard. Most are just B-Movies that are supposed to be scary. Ones you may or may not have ever even heard of. And they’re even more fun most of the time. Nifty.

10. The Carpenter. If you like low-budget, Canadian, love-story-horror, than this movie is just for you. Seriously - that’s what it is.

9. Scarecrow. Okay, we rented this one on the same night as the Carpenter, and the plot to the Carpenter made way more sense.

8. Troll 2. Interesting case this one. No actual trolls. Lots of established goblins. Never once said the word “troll.” People get turned into veggies. Logic gets tossed out the window.

7. Star Wars. Okay, so I know Star Wars isn’t a scary movie... But, if you can tell me when it ISN’T a good time to watch Star Wars, I’d like to hear it.

6. Young Frankenstein. Scared the hell outta me. (Thanks Homer)

5. Silent Night Deadly Night 3. This one makes 9 and 10 look like straight lines. But, in fairness, how many movies have you seen where the main villain has a glass dome for a head with a highly visible brain, yet can still get picked up while hitchhiking? It you said any less than 4, I demand that you see this one.

4. The Ring/Signs. Okay, these are legitimate scary-assed movies. Between the two of them, I lost 4 nights of sleep. Though, in fairness, some of episodes of Happy Days make me lose sleep. I mean, if the Fonz got hurt, I’d be a wreck. Anyways, these movies have made me very afraid of turned-off tv’s. Also, something that I also feel after watching Happy Days... what is with me and Happy Days?

3. Killer Klowns from Outer Space. If that title didn’t get yer mouth watering on it’s own, nothing I can say will..

2. Dead Alive. One of the funniest B-Horrors I’ve ever seen. It’s an Australian zombie story, that has been described as “the goriest movie of all time.” That’s enough of a lure for me. Plus, I have 2 words for you: Lawnmower sequence. Two more: Zombie toddler.

1. The Evil Dead Trilogy (Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2, Army of Darkness). THE funniest B-Horror ever made. The epitome of the B-Horror movie is the Evil Dead trilogy. The best part of this thing is that it revels in that fact. And it’s got my hero and yours, Bruce Campbell. With a chainsaw for a right hand (well, for the last two anyways, but that’s still pretty awesome!) Sounds like pure entertainment for me.

Well, I hope this helps you celebrate yer Halloween a little more... spookily (man! I cannot believe that is a real word!). I should also mention that today (the 29th) is my birthday. This is my article, so I have that power. Go me! Happy Halloween everybody! Get free candy!

Well, there we have it. Brilliant article. Totally shoulda got publsihed. Fools. Anyways, it probably is good I put it up here, as it makes me more aware that I have to make a couple of new articles (mostly on Evil Dead and Dead Alive - and of course Star Wars, but that was pretty obvious). So yeah, until then, keep watching the skiis.