100 Reasons Why Halloween is Awesome
We all know that Halloween is overly awesome, but have you ever bothered to think about why? If your like me, than you probably haven’t and just let it be it’s awesome old self without any need for an explanation. This has consistently worked for every Halloween that I had the pleasure to take part in (almost 21) - no reason: just awesome. However, since I moved and I have very little planned for Halloween this year, I decided to compile a list of why it’s awesome so as to make my Halloween this year have as much awesometude as possible. Awesome. “Pizza’s awesome!” Let the list begin!
1. Free candy for the asking.
2. An excuse to wear costumes and such. Costumes are fun.
3. Wandering around at night is also fun.
4. Fireworks
5. Pretty much every channel plays at least one classic horror movies. In many cases, they play a marathon of them. Kick ass.
6. Free candy.
7. It’s one of the few times you’ll see a JedI hanging out with Jason, a vampire and the killer dude from ‘Scream’
8. Mocking the kids who are dressed as “kid in a plaid shirt” or “kid in a hat.”
9. Gourd hunting!
10. Eating candy
11. Everything is “fun-sized” whatever that means… fun!
12. Finally, an excuse to wear make-up.
13. Hanging out with yer friends all night despite the fact that you probably have school the next day.
14. Halloween parties.
15. The debates that would always come up if Halloween fell on a Sunday and they didn’t want it to. Man those were stupid debates, yet also very amusing!
16. Free candy!
17. Lightsaber battles (okay, maybe these were just my Halloweens, but then this is my list, so there.)
18. “Saturday Night Live’s Halloween Special” it’s all really funny.
19. To go along with #18, Adam Sandler’s “Inexpensive Halloween Costumes” (my particular favorite was “I’m crazy ruler beard! I have a damn ruler for a beard! Isn’t that crazy?! Now, why don’t you give me some candy?!”
20. Also to go along with #18, Chevy Chase’s “Killer White Shark at the Door” bits. Man, those are classic.
21. Halloween related songs (mostly from “Nightmare Before Christmas”)
22. Trick-or-Treating in the rain. Now, I know this sounds stupid, but it’s brilliant. We did this a few years ago: it was pouring rain, so we actually didn’t make it to that many houses, but I got more candy at it than I got in years. The reason: people were so glad that anyone at all was out that they all gave us like 3 or 4 shares of candy. Most awesome. Health is not important when free candy is concerned.
23. Smashing apples on the street (well, yer not supposed to eat them! They’re filled with razor blades!)
24. Dude! Free candy!
25. (also just a “my Halloween” thing, but) the annual Halloween night brawl at my friend Brent’s house. They were really fun, yet very stupid, but we were young boys, so what would you really expect?
26. The people that would be giving out cans of pop or full sized candy bars or something. Those people are awesome.
27. Halloween decorations. Decorating for Halloween is actually one of my most favorite things to do.
28. The specials that are on TLC and such just before Halloween like “real ghosts” or “how zombies really exist” and other such non-sense.
29. The fact that my birthday is 2 days beforehand. That being the 29th. This being #29 on the list! Coincidence?! No!
30. Claiming that one of the houses in your neighbourhood is haunted and then avoiding it at all costs. That’s a fun game.
31. Trick-or-Treating at yer own house and standing in the back to see if you can actually fool your parents (one time I actually did… that was fun, cuz we were really jerky and my mom was just about to tell us off when I revealed our clever trick. Good times…)
32. All the extra candy left at yer house after all the trick-or-treating is done. Man, that’s sweet.
33. The kid that went to Adrienne’s house a few years ago and wanted lima beans instead of candy! That kid was so incredibly awesome! And he was dressed like a cow! Extra awesome points given for that bring him up to ‘ultimate awesome’ levels. Werd.
34. Finding a really awful b-horror-movie and watching it (well, that’s really a good way to make any night awesome, but it fits here too).
35. Candy that is free!
36. Juice bags that are also free.
37. ROCKETS!! Rockets are the best candy ever invented!
38. The leaves on the ground are always pretty neat looking.
39. Apparently it smells nice.
40. Houses that really are haunted and you actually avoid them for fear of death.
41. Finding yourself in an actually haunted house, and then running away screaming, only to find that you are trapped forever! Well… maybe that’s not so much ‘awesome,’ but it’s certainly a possibility.
42. NOT having a stupid rehersal on Halloween! Stupid Tood…
43. Carving jack-o-lanterns.
44. Carving Jack-e-MacIntosh… wait… ignore that one… Jack’s not dead… don’t look for him…
45. The ability to replace regular foods from your lunch with candy (in my case, mostly rockets).
46. Oh, that candy from #45, it was free by the way.
47. Making Halloween related splash pages for yer pudding-based web page… yup.
48. The Simpson’s Halloween Special.
49. The Simpson’s Halloween Special II.
50. The Simpson’s Halloween Special III.
51. The Simpson’s Halloween Special IV.
52. The Simpson’s Halloween Special V.
53. Free candy.
54. The Simpson’s Halloween Special VI.
55. The Simpson’s Halloween Special VII. After that, they got pretty crappy and don’t really have anything to do with Halloween anymore. They’re just kinda plots that are too weird for a regular episode.
56. Waiting every year for the new Simpson’s Halloween Special.
57. Making a really complicated Halloween costume and having to explain it to people (cuz it’s a ridiculous thing to have to actually explain).
58. It’s almost constant association with Satan.
59. Satan.
60. The fact that, like clockwork, every Halloween Much Music plays the video for Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.” Man that’s an awesome video. When I was little when it first came out, the part at the start when he was a Werewolf scared the hell out of me.
61. The fact that it’s not called “All Hallow’s Eve” anymore. I mean, sure that’s a cool name, but it would be pretty annoying to say (let alone type as many times as I would have so far!) as much as Halloween. “Happy All Hallow’s Eve!” You’d have to say. “Trick-or-All Hallow’s Eve” you’d have to say. What’s up with that?
62. Michael Myers. Without Michael Myers the movies of the “Halloween” series would have been pretty boring. It’s true.
63. The fact that they apparently don’t celebrate it in France. Take that France! We get free candy! Enjoy your Baggett!
64. Garfield’s Halloween Special (him and Odie dress up as pirates, and end up going to an island where there are ghost pirates… I won’t ruin the end for ya though…)
65. Charlie Brown’s Halloween special, “It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown.”
66. The Great Pumpkin itself.
67. This book I remember from grade primary. I don’t remember what it was called, but it went like, “There was a dark, dark path. Down the dark, dark path, there was a dark, dark house. In the dark, dark house, there was a dark, dark hall. In the dark, dark hall, there was a dark, dark room. Etc.” It’s a really awesome book. It’s actually pretty creepy for 5 year olds. Meh.
68. Ninjas! There’s always people dressed up as ninjas on Halloween! How often do you see that? Of course, the regular ninjas that are always there are still there on Halloween, but obviously you can’t see them - they ARE ninjas.
69. Freddy Krueger.
70. I haven’t mentioned free candy in a while, so I think I’ll do that now. #70 is free candy.
71. Fake blood. Fake blood is always fun.
72. Those “Scary Sound FX” tapes that people buy and play all bloody night outside their houses, or out their front windows. Those are ridiculous.
73. Sparklers! How could I have forgotten about sparklers until now? Oh man…
74. A quote from Jacquelyn (Halloween and all things Gothy expert) “It rocks.”
75. The usual playing of the film “Mr. Boogedy” (thanks for the reminder John). Except, this year is looking bleak for it… where’s the Boogedy?!
76. The undeniable fact that it’s incredibly fun. It’s true!
77. Impala Special (oh that was lame).
78. The period directly after Halloween when all the really big bags of candy at Wal-Mart and similar places is all on sale for like 75% off (or, to continue the locals references, 25% off. Heh…)
79. The fact that with a simple change of spelling, you can easily make it “Helloween” - thus creating an even easier to see connection to Satan.
80. The Halloween cartoons on HomestarRunner.com.
81. Orange and black are quite nice colors.
82. The “Sailor Punk Halloween Special.” (found conveniently on this very web page! Who woulda thought that?!)
83. Those ghosts that people make are really just white garbage bags with stuff in one end, and then tied off with a face drawn on them. I used to hang a whole bunch of those things in my giant tree at my old house in Westmount. I love those things.
84. Fake things. The fake things that Wal-Mart and other such places sell are really cool. I’m talking about the fake cleavers, knives, swords, skulls, animals, tombstones, etc. If you want a fake thing, you gotta love Halloween.
85. This list. I gotta say, it’s pretty awesome for something I was originally just doing to waste time. Gee, I bet you couldn’t tell that, could ya?
86. The movie “The Monster Squad.” Many people don’t’ know about this movie, but it was (I’m pretty sure) a made for TV thing with Dracula, the Wolfman, the Mummy, Frankenstein’s Monster, etc. and some kid, and there was some kind of adventure had. Good times for all.
87. “Ernest Scared Stupid.” ‘Nuff said.
88. Finally giving pumpkins a chance to shine. I mean, other than Halloween, pumpkins are the loser of the gardening world. Sure, there are a few people who eat pumpkins, and people do eat the seeds, but you really don’t see pumpkins around at any other point in the year. It really makes you sad for the majestic pumpkin. Shine on you crazy diamond! Er… pumpkin. Yes, pumpkin.
89. The fact that, for some odd reason. Cotton stretched out = spider webs. Wild.
90. “A Comedy of Errors” when we did it with the solid Halloween theme. That was really fun, and was a really good idea. Good work Todd!
91. Sorting candy after trick-or-treating and trading. (this one was a special request, as I never really liked it... I'll explain: when I was little, I was pretty picky with my candy, so when it came to sorting and trading, it was pretty much me just losing candy! Maybe sometimes I got gum or something, but I lost so much!
92. Five simple words: Pirates wandering around is fun.
93. When yer eating those little bags of chips that most people give out (that actually kinda suck) and you get a bag that is flavoured. Usually, if there is a flavoured one, it’s ketchup, or sometimes salt and vinegar, but I swear, one time I got a sour cream and onion bag! I wasn’t even aware that such a product existed! I’ve yet to find one again, but the fact that evidently they ARE out there… that’s awesome.
94. The term “Halloweener.” Heh heh.
95. Monsters, zombies, etc.
96. Yo-yo’s… sorry… I just saw a yo-yo, and they too are awesome. ‘Scuse me a minute…
97. Question: Would Dracula, Frankenstein, Jango Fett, etc. really wear a smock with a picture of himself on it? Answer: Obviously he would. Those tacky costumes are overly amusing.
98. It creates a new opportunity for pillow cases to be used in a non-sleeping manner! Go pillow cases! Like pumpkins, it’s your night to shine!
99. It makes it seem like it’s “Simon and Hecubis Day” which, I must admit, would be even moreso awesome, for various other reasons. Man… a day dedicated to Simon and Hecubis… man…
100. Do I really have to say free candy again? I think I’ve done a good job of expressing the fact that free candy is overly great. It’s candy that is free. You really can’t argue with that. Free candy - it really says it all.
*101. (at special request of Jesse Arsenault:) Jesse's half-assed costumes. They were truly classic. One time he went as a mummy... it was just him wrapped in toilet paper. Truly hilarious.
Thanks for actually taking the time to read this non-sensical list of mine. I hope you have an awesome Halloween and a Happy Mini Mart. Awesome.