(James') Top 10 Canadian TV shows

Well, it’s Canada Day yet again - one heck of a fine holiday, I suppose if ya like fireworks and... Canada. However, this holiday always gets ignored because Canada’s retarded cousin has a birthday so close to Canada’s, and he’s louder. Damn you Forth of July! Oh well. It’s just like our TV. We have some very high-quality programs, but they get ignored for the most part, because of the same retarded cousin. Thus, this Canada Day, Canadian TV is gettin’ rekanized (yes, I’m ghetto). Thus, I present to you: The Top 10 Canadian TV shows. Huzzah.

10. The Newsroom - This is a really smart, really, really dark comedy that came on the CBC in the late 90s (possibly so late 90s as 2000... again, research isn’t really my bag, yo). It deals (as it’s actually still on the air... one of the few shows on the list that is!) with, of all things, a newsroom of a Canadian news program, and the backstabbing/lies that go into the world of Canadian news. Most of the time it just makes fun of Canadians for being like simpler Americans. It’s pretty similar to “Made in Canada” except I think it’s just a bit more clever/dark. Plus, that comedian that puts his hand up to his mouth all the time is in it, and I find that guy hilarious.

9. Danger Bay - This is a truly bizarre show which combined the action adventure of the A-Team (or at least tried), with nature-documentary information. The amount of episodes with whales was truly mind boggling. On a side note, whenever I hear of any place with the word “Bay” as part of their name I think of this show. Whenever I hear the word “danger” I think of the little guy on the sign slipping when wet.

8. Reboot - THE cartoon for nerds was the classic CG show, Reboot. Not only was it done on computers, it was ABOUT computers, and all the jokes were either computer, video game, or B-Movie based! They even had an episode with a guy that looked suspiciously like Bruce Campbell! Wicked! A lot of people are surprised this show was Canadian, mostly because it was really a high-quality show. Go Canada, eh? Anyways, if anyone reading this has anything to do with Reboot, please make that third damn movie! I’ve seen “My 2 Bobs” enough times! I wanna see how it all ends, dammit!

7. The Littlest Hobo - A German Shepard goes around and foils criminals, usually by chasing them down and then letting Mounties handle the rest. If you watch this show now you will see the most 70s-early 80s thing ever. I swear there was a crook who ran away wearing roller skates. Good thing the littlest hobo managed to chase him down so that the Mounties could handle the rest. To indicate how good (somehow) this show actually was - I hate everything to do with dogs (always have) yet I watched this show religiously. Plus, it has one of the most recognizable theme songs of all time. “Maybe tomorrow I’ll want to settle down/Until tomorrow I’ll just keep moving on.” That shot of him walking down the beach, all alone, as such a little hobo, always makes me all misty-eyed. Why can’t someone just love him? He’s clearly a great dog! He’s saved us all at least once! Someone give him a steak at least! Or that fake-bacon stuff. He seems like the type that would love that... I can’t believe I wrote this much about the Littlest Hobo...

Get 'em Hobo(s)!

6. Wayne and Shuster - I used to watch this show when I was really, really young. In fairness I didn’t even get most of the jokes. It was the big elaborate things that I always found impressive. Most of these things came in the specials that they did. Like one was based on the battle of Troy, and had Wayne and Shuster in the giant wooden horse. I was really impressed with the fact that they actually made a big wooden horse just for a few cheap laughs, however in retrospect, that wooden horse looked awfully one-dimensional, and didn’t really consist of much more than a window on wood paneling. Oh well. This is on re-runs on the Comedy Channel if ya wanna watch it. Most of it is quite dated, and all the jokes are very, very Canadian, but every once in a while they have a really good bit. The best I have seen (and this was recently, so it’s actually pretty good to hold up over the years) is a bit about Dorian Grey they did where Dorian was a fat guy, but he was thin because of the painting. It’s pretty standard til the end, which is years ahead of it’s time. If ya ever have the chance to check out that one bit, I highly recommend it.

5. Street Cents - This only really goes for when the show was GOOD, back in the days of Jono and Ken Pompadour, and lasting up to Anna and those other 2 people. Basically when Ken left the whole show went down the crapper. We miss you Ken! Please, come back soon... though, I don’t watch the show anymore, so you full well may have and I just haven’t noticed so... um... write me a letter Ken!

R.I.P. Ken Pompadour


4. Degrassi (Jr. High/High) - Perhaps one of the most “Canadian” shows of all time had to be Degrassi. Full of really bizarre trends, and crazy catch phrases that you can’t find anywhere else on television, Degrassi was and still is a great show. It also might have something to do with the fact that it was super-80s, so bizarre trends and crazy phrases were the style, I suppose. Still, Degrassi had all those, AND dealt with the issues like suicide, teen pregnancy, and being naked in the cafeteria with only yer hat to protect you... I think we all learn a lesson from Joey Jeremiah that day. The lesson is... um.. . I dunno. Hey, is it just me or did anyone else really hate Wheels? Why couldn’t HE have been a weird beatnik/protestor in love with Caitlin? That woulda solved all our problems. But no! You had to go and get greedy, Claude.

3. The Raccoons - The argument against the point that Canadian cartoons suck is the Raccoons. This was another show that dealt with issues and whatnot on a fairly regular basis, but every once in a while the message would be “how to win a solar-powered-car race” or “Bert, yer eating too many chips!” so it wasn’t ALWAYS serious. Because this whole series spawned from 2 Christmas specials (most notably, “The Raccoons on Ice”) I assumed for most of my life that the show was called that... it didn’t really make sense to call it that outside of the maybe 4 winter episodes, but I did anyways. Oh well - I got over it. I never really liked the kids in the show... all they did was learn the same moral that Bert woulda learned, but in a far less amusing way. They didn’t even TRY peanut-butter soda! I hate those kids. But I love Cyril Sneer. And that game that he plays at the start of each episode. I swear, I would kill for that game OR a chance to meet Cyril Sneer, so he can tell me where I can rent it.


2. the Kids in the Hall - Even more than 10 years after its cancellation, the Kids in the Hall remains one of the funniest shows on TV. Thankfully I got into this show really, really early (I found out it was actually during one of the very first episodes in 1989... go team!). The show helped define the “oddball Canadian sense of humour” that SCTV had started a few years before. Also, it’s a good indication that unlike much worse shows (Air Farce, I’m looking in yer direction!) not ALL Canadian humour has to be, “Haha! We’re from Canada! Our politicians are so wacky! Hockey! Tim Horton’s! Haha!”... friggin’ hate Air Farce... I don’t really know what to say about KITH that I haven’t already said in the several articles that it’s mentioned in (thus far, I think this is the 5th), so I’ll just leave it at saying KITH is better than you. Accept it. ‘Cept maybe Mark McKinney... you might be better than Mark.

1. Mr. Dress-Up - In my opinion, Mr. Dress-Up (alias Ernie Coombs) is the greatest Canadian ever born, despite the fact that he was an American. I hate when people say Mr. Dress-up wasn’t Canadian... It’s like when people say that Batman isn’t really a super hero. Screw that logic. Mr. Dress-Up is Canadian as seaweed pie. This show I KNOW I watched religiously, as I’m sure, did most kids in Canada given the opportunity. The greatest period was the era of Casey and Finnegan, so thankfully that lasted for about 90% of the show’s run. I love that kid and his mute dog. I love Finnegan even more than the littlest hobo... well, I never really “loved” the littlest hobo... moreso I appreciated his ability to chase down crooks and then let the Mounties handle the rest. But I actually loved Finnegan. He rocked. Making crafts and drawing what Mr. Dress-Up drew was a big part of my childhood, and full well may have been the same case with you. I found out a few years ago that Mr. Dress-Up did tours of colleges, doing talks and reading stories and whatnot, and it seemed like the best idea ever. I was gonna talk to the folks at UCCB to get him here, but then he died the next day. That really sucked... Fortunately, Mr. Dress-Up is still on everyday (in re-run form). Even if I just catch a second of it while flipping through the channels, it still makes me smile. Thank you, Mr. Dress- Up.


Honourable mention:
Made in Canada, Fred Penner’s Place (mostly for Word-Bird!), Beach Combers, and Hinterlands Who’s Who (not on the list only because it was not a real “show”).

Well, that is the very best of Canadian TV... at least in my opinion. I’d say my opinion is pretty valid, being a Canadian who has watched TV most of his life. I wonder how many times I’ve actually said “Canadian” in this article? I’m willing to bet over 100... possibly even 137... eh? Eh? Get it? No? Oh well, it’s not important anyways. I stand on guard for thee.