How to Make S'Mores
I have no idea how to actually spell "s'mores" but I'm pretty sure that works...
In an attempt to make summer more likable for myself, I decided to do some summery articles
on things I enjoy about this awful, awful season. So, up first, the gooey, chocolatey messes that
are s'mores! This particular method was taught to me/altered by me, so it's a bit different than
the 900 other methods of s'mores that all have the same results anyways. First, you have to have
the proper s'more supplies!
The proper s'more supplies consist of: marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate. I prefer
chocolate bar chocolate myself, as it gives the s'more more of a meal quality. Are chocolate
bars a meal? No - only when melted marshmallow is involved. But, I'm getting ahead of
myself. Once you have your supplies and, of course, a fire, it's time to move on to step 1!
Step 1: Sanitation
No matter what yer marshmallow roasting stick is, odds are it's got some pretty gross stuff on it.
It might be a stick covered with natures crap, or in my case, a nail with lumber crap. Either
way, that stick is filthy and fire kills filth. Roast the filth to death! If you are using a nail/some
other metal roasting tool, it will lead to other advantages in step 2!
Step 2: Marshmallow Stabbin
This is always a problem with roasting marshmallows in terms of making s'mores. You don't
wanna burn it too bad, or it'll just make the chocolate taste gross. But, at the same time, you
need it good and gooey. Theres also the risk of it falling off the stick into the fire. However,
because of my super-heated nail, the marshmallow created a concrete like bond as soon as i
pierced it. Crazy.
Step 3: The Roasting Process
Stick that marshmallow tipped stick into open flames! Myself, I don't like a burnt shmallow,
but at the same time, I like it gooey. Also, Im impatient. So, my preferred method is to just
jam it right into a flame until it bursts into flame itself. Then, I yank it out and blow out the
flames. The result? A marshmallow browned to perfection! If only step 4 were as easy as
that...
Step 4: The Sandwich
The hardest part of this process is getting the marshmallow into the graham cracker/chocolate
sandwich without making a gross mess. Myself, I make the sandwich around the usually still
very hot stick, which results in burns but less mess. I think it's a decent trade off. The sandwich
should look like that above. In theory your s'more is done. But, not done enough! Not for this
method! No! Theres still several more stages before I would eat that mess!
Step 5: Tearing Off a Piece of Tinfoil
Do what it says! It's just that simple!
Step 6: Wrapping
Make sure your sandwich is totally wrapped in foil. Myself, I like to leave a bit of excess foil on
the end, just so step 7 is easier. S'more making should be a laid-back activity, so whatever.
Sure, that might go against making a step-by-step process, but Im already at step 6, so theres no
going back now! Forward only!
Step 7: Re-Stabbin
Put that freshly folded wad of sandwich and foil back on the end of yer roasting stick (preferably
the same end as before, otherwise you get marshmallow and burns on yer hands when we get to
step 8). It should look something like an incredibly useless spear, or perhaps a really crappy
knock-off of that staff that Indy had to construct in order to locate the Ark of the Covenant.
Some prop from Raiders anyways. Then, move on to step 8!
Step 8: Re-Roasting!
Jam that spear/staff back into the flames! Whats the point of these extra steps, you ask? Well,
now ALL the s'more will be melty instead of just the marshmallow! Thats GOTTA be
better! Remember to rotate it every once in a while, otherwise it may be all for naught when one
side burns...
Like this! Dammit! But, I followed every step so closely! Now my life is ruined... unless of
course I move on to the occasionally used step 9...
Step 9: Throw Away the Burnt Parts!
Yes, just throw away nay parts that are burnt! They'd ruin the whole experience which takes a
surprisingly large amount of time. Ya know, considering you could just buy the chocolate bar
version that tastes pretty much the same except less smokey and scalding. But, that would be
cheating! You bastard! Do it this way!
Then, theres just eating it. I guess that would be step 10. However, I have no picture of step 10,
so screw it. It's just a 9 step process.