The Top 10 Quotes from Canadian Heritage Moments
Yes, it’s Canada Day yet again, today thePS recognizes the greatest achievement in Canadian
History: The Canadian Heritage Moment. Few people realize how very important these things
are. One, it furthers the idea that TV is teaching me things. That’s its job, and it does it well.
Secondly, it gave us history (and believe me, Canadian History is some of the world’s more
boring history, at least in the latter part of it) and made it interesting. Not only interesting, but
amusing. Not only amusing, but also quotable. Yes, Canadian history is on the same level as
old episodes of the Simpsons, and for that we are all proud to be from the True North, strong and
free. But how strong? Wait til #1 to find out. And yes, actually wait. Don’t just skip down.
That’s not cool. Read the other ones, their just as good. But yes, onto the top 10 quotes from
Canadian Heritage Moments!
10. “Patrick, Patrick O’Neil.” An Irish orphan gave us that gem. To this day, whenever
I hear anyone say the name “Patrick” on its own, I immediately think, “Patrick O’Neil.” You do
too. Admit it.
9. “You’re here, aren’t ya?” Ah, the great peace. This moment was also a great
example of computer animation in the times of early Canada. I’d be scared too if one of the
Xena B-villains tried to attack my village.
8. “I don’t know. Just Winnie the Pooh!” I dunno if they wanted this kid to be played
as kinda retarded, but that’s the message I got. It’s just sad to realize that one of the most
beloved children’s characters of all time was pretty much created on a whim, just cuz some kid
giggled after he said “poo.”
7. “CAN-A-DA is its name.” With that quote, I’m not sure who to root for in this
moment. I mean, the guy who says “But, I’m sure it means the houses - the village!” - he seems
like the good guy. But then, the guy who says the “CAN-A-DA is its name” one, while he
seems like an asshole, he seems to be the home-team. I’m so confused.
6. “Are we all... are we all going to the same party?” In fairness, while thsi quote is
probably more well-known, my favorite from this moment was always, “so-and-so wants this.
Pfft.” Something about a former Prime Minister giving a childish scoff at an ugly flag just
makes me proud.
5. “Now the people will know we were here.” This one quote prompted us to build
inukshuks all over the damn place ever since it was first aired. Whenever I see anything that
even resembles an Inukshuk, I go to say it, but am usually beaten to the punch by someone else
with the exact same line. Unoriginal bastards that they are.
4. “I smell burnt toast!” This is probably the most confusing line in the list. Both on
delivery, and for the actress who had to say it. I imaging the directing on it went something like,
“Alright, now you randomly smell burnt toast as this man pokes at yer brain. Now, while that
may seem mundane, you have to make it seem like it’s the greatest thing that has ever happened!
C’mon woman! You smell burnt toast! How can that not be gold. Oh, also could you not say
‘poo’?”
3. “Both of ya know I cannot read a word.” This one is probably not so much the quote
that made it so good. It was more likely the slight hand gesture that follows it. You can tell that
he really wanted to deck that Rural School Teacher, but he just didn’t have the guts. Plus,
people that can’t read are funny. They make history.
2. “But I need these baskets back!” By far, the most crotchety man that could be cast in
this role. I wouldn’t have asked him for anything, let alone to cut the bottoms out of his precious
beach-baskets.” Dude didn’t even cut the holes right. He just liked being the center of attention
when he had to broom the balls out of them. What a jerk. Americans.
1. Superman. Ah, the Superman Moment - by far the greatest moment in Canadian
history. This Moments gives us not one, but a veritable cornucopia of wicked lines! Here’s just
a few:
“A hero in tights, really.”
“That’s it! A bullet! He’s faster - he’s faster than a speeding bullet!”
“It’ll never fly,” which is only great when you hear Joel’s incredibly quick response of “Fly, no.
But he can leap over tall buildings.” Damn that’s good writing. However, all these pale in
comparison to the greatest gem ever handed to the good peoples of the Canadas. A line that is,
in itself, self-fulfilling:
“Take it, it’s a gift. You never know, it might be worth something someday.” That line is worth
so much to us all. I am weeping just thinking about it. Dun dun dan dun dan dun dun
daaaan!
Well, that’s it. The best that Canada has to offer. I just can’t wait til they make a Heritage
Moment commemorating those brave few who stood against big-business, and fought for the
environment to save Canadian forests. God bless you, the Raccoons on Ice.
