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Top Ten Horror Movies

I enjoy horror movies. Highly. Most of the people I hang out with/know are similar in that way. It's fun, and it's a good way to enjoy typically (though not always) aggressive, slaughtery behavior. Good times for all, really. So, I decided to do a list of the top ten horror movies. However, instead of just making up the list myself (which I usually do with these top tens - sorry if you had faith in my "scientific process" excuse) I ACTUALLY used a method this time! A two-fold method! Crazy!

Fold 1 was to ask a bunch of people what their favorite horror movies were. I got over 100 responses. Many were different, though a good number of the choices got selected more than once.

Fold 2 was to take those choices selected numerous times and make a list of 15 options where people simply voted on which of those were their favorites. Whittle that list down to 10, and that's where this list comes from! That's about as near to a scientific process as we're gonna get with a PS top ten, I'd say. Took a while too, but now it's done and here it is: the top ten horror movies of all time. Some I haven't even seen, though I can easily agree to (almost) all of them. Here we go!

10. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre:

I actually thought that this movie would get a much lower ranking on the list. Not in the top 5, mind you, but better than 10. Oh well - the people have spoken. This movie is scary purely because it is so blunt. The original is so grainy and everything just sort of... happens without a whole lot of build-up - it makes it look ALMOST like a documentary (but not in the fake "Blair Witch"/ "Quarantine" way - like they actually had to find a bunch of crazies who actually killed people to make a loosely scripted movie). Also, the chair is creepy. Very creepy. Personal terror with this movie is the "running around, getting slaughtered in broad-daylight." This bothers me WAY more than regular nighttime slaughters.

9. A Nightmare on Elm St (series):

In my younger days of being a horror- movie-fan (junior high era) Freddy was my favorite. The movies are hilarious to the point that the later movies (especially 'Freddy's Dead') seem to almost parody the earlier ones. Freddy goes from "a nightmare-based child-molester who swore revenge on your children's souls" to "a nightmare-based child-molester who will make on-lookers laugh as you are destroyed with irony." Freddy made me love irony. The earlier movies - however - are really, really creepy. The first one specifically with all the bloody body bag scenes are particularly weird to watch. My favorite would have to be either #6 (Freddys Dead) or #3 (Dream Warriors). The NES game was also awesome.

8. IT:

One of the movies on the list that I have not seen all the way through - the reason being that it always creeped me out. I would watch it basically until they went into the sewer (which, from what I understand, is the bulk of the story) and then I'd flip to cartoons or something. Something light that didn't involve Tim Curry in any way. It also almost ruined John Ritter for me - but thankfully I stuck by him until that "Simple Rules" show, and look how that turned out. If someone else wants to do a decent review of this movie for me to put here, please feel free and I'll post it up.

7. Ghostbusters (series):

There are a few entries on this list that are not true "horror" movies, but are instead a kind of horror-based comedy. Ghostbusters is probably the most famous horror-based comedy ever done. If you don't know Ghostbusters you're probably a baby (like a literal baby that has no idea of movies, yet can read articles on websites) or dead and have no brain functions to remember all the times you've talked about knowing what Ghostbusters is. Those are the only scenarios that make any sense at all, and even some babies know what Ghostbusters is. Now then - even though Ghostbusters is a comedy, this does not mean that there aren't some frightening elements to it. In the first movie, those "dog" things scared me. In the second movie, Vigo was pretty terrifying (a number of people agree to that one). Even in the cartoon (the REAL Ghostbusters, not the crappy Hanna-Barbara one) were pretty disturbing (most of them have the boogie-man). So, if you want a light scare, watch Ghostbusters. I can only assume it will be "again."

6. Creep:

Zombie and Wings night is a delightful thing with zombie movies and wings for a few hours. However, there are only so many zombie movies around here, so every once in a while we had to get non-zombie based ones too. Creep was one of those movies. I never heard of it before, but we figured it looked kinda corny and therefore worth our time. The first 5 minutes scared me. Then it all got really clean and nice looking. Then it got really, really dark and really disturbing and really creepy. REALLY creepy. The best part of this movie is, and I guess it makes sense, the "creep" character. He doesn't say a word. He's just a physical actor with some of the best make-up I've ever seen in a movie. He talks to rats in some weird squeak-based language that I can only assume he made up. We were convinced they just got a really messed up looking guy to play the part. He wasn't terrifyingly-scary. He was terrifyingly-realistic. The things he did were so brutal - yet perfectly realistic based on his background. It's a British horror movie, which further convinces me that the British are the new kings of horror. I'm glad that this one made it so far on the list, as I was pretty sure that no one had ever heard of it before. Creepy as hell.

5. Shawn of the Dead:

The original Zombie and Wings night movie and the modern definition of the horror-comedy. The zom-com. The tagline for this movie says it all: "A Romantic Comedy. With Zombies." Another British flick, this movie has so much going for it. It has dry humor, slap-stick, witty-banter, ridiculous sight-gags, etc. etc. etc. all under the guise of a typical zombie-infestation story. Good times for all. Everything is so simple in this movie so that when something truly insane happens in it (you know - beyond the fact that there are zombies eating people everywhere and taking over England) it's really impressive. It was a much needed twist on the genre that (I think) had a great part in re-kindling the interest in all things zombie (which I'm pretty happy about). The scenes where Shawn is flipping through the channels with the pieced together dialogue/conversations between unconnected people is brilliant movie-making. Plus anything with Bill Nigh is great. Kudos.

4. Evil Dead (series):

If Ghostbusters is the MOST famous horror-comedy, and Shawn of the Dead is the MODERN example of horror-comedy then Evil Dead is... I dunno - the poor cousin? Some kind of half-brother that the other 2 don't really like? I dunno. Evil Dead is an entity all its own. "The definition of b-movie" more suits this. But, the plus side to Evil Dead is that it KNOWS it's a b-movie. It thrives on that fact, and for the most part relies on that fact. It has some of the corniest dialogue and acting, the most ridiculous, hole filled plot, worst effects ever put on film - and yet that's the point! Why bother making the stuff look fantastic and totally "real" if it's not fun? Evil Dead is a fun series of movies. Hell - the second movie is (essentially) a remake of the first movie, simplifying a few things, and then the third movie remakes the story again, simplifying it to the first 3 minutes of the movie. The same girl is played by 3 different actresses, and given varying degrees of importance. Fun times indeed. I don't thing anyone can claim that these movies are even kinda scary. But, these movies are the reason that Bruce Campbell is the king of b-movies, and that - if for no other reason - is reason enough for these movies to be on this list. My personal favorite is #2. I like the hand scenes.

3. Dawn of the Dead:

Oddly, this is the only other movie on the list that I haven't seen - neither the original nor the remake. That seems wrong to me, as other than Night of the Living Dead, this one is probably the most famous zombie movie ever. I've watched bits and pieces, but never the whole thing through. If it's on at some point in the next week (and since it's Halloweek it seems entirely possible that it will be) I will definitely watch/tape it. Again, if anyone wants to do a decent review of this one, Id be happy to post it up.

2. 28 Days Later:

This movie was in the running for the #1 slot for a while, but oh well. It has one of my big fears - that of being completely surrounded in a huge area with nowhere to really get to. I think that's part of the reason that this movie is so good - it really conveys the panic that Jim experiences very well. Yes, there's some gross stuff in this movie, but I think it's the panic that makes it great. Also, just the name alone sets up the brilliant premise. It's not the break-out, it's not the major wave of death and destruction - it's the period of time afterward when all attempts to stop said breakout and waves have failed and things have "calmed down" relatively (mostly because most people are dead/infected, but that makes it calm I'd say). All the breakout/wave stuff comes in 28 Weeks Later, which I highly enjoyed for entirely different reasons. It was more big-budget and didn't have the great characters and situations, but it filled in that gap that I guess would have been the first 27 days. Robert Carlyle was good too. Gave the infected a face. And yes - they're infected. They're not zombies. Zombies are dead. The infected are still alive, just really crazy-upset. Not zombies.

1. The Silence of the Lambs:

There's a tie for first! I never really would have classified Silence of the Lambs as a "horror movie" before; more a thriller or crime drama, but Hannibal Lector is easily one of the scariest, creepiest villains of all time, so it's understandable. Plus, I'm willing to bet the Buffalo Bill scenes - in combination with the Lector scenes - gave way more people nightmares than Army of Darkness did, so I won't argue it. This is one of those movies that I only had seen pieced together over a few years. I only saw the whole thing just before Red Dragon came out - I wanted to see the whole series at about the same time, so I watched this and Hannibal in succession. I really liked this. I didn't like Hannibal. Kinda sucked. Not the same Clarice, not a great Clarice. Anywho - back to the movie at hand. The scenes with Buffalo Bill are definitely creepy and downright disturbing; with great lines like "It rubs the lotion on its skin" how can it not be? But I think the best scenes involve Lector outside of the asylum. When he's in that big cell in the middle of... whatever the room he's in - good stuff is to follow. Plus the night-vision scene is really creepy. Night-vision in movies tends to be. Everyone has big, glowing eyes.

1. The Shining:

Our other #1 movie. The Shining is creepy/scary/hard to watch for a number of reasons. There's one scene I can never quite get through, so if I wanna get a snack, that's when I do it. It's when it shows the woman in the bath-tub. Not when he's talking to her - well, when he is talking to her, but not what he sees - when it shows what the woman ACTUALLY looks like. It's gross, but it's somewhat realistic gross. It's all swampy and moldy - but it's a bathtub! That should be clean! Not right! This movie is one of the most visually interesting horror movies as well. The mirror-like movements of the twin girls who roam the halls as ghosts; the classic blood coming out of the elevator; the "all work and no play..." pages, etc. The build is perfect - this movie seems like it's about 215 hours long, when it's really only a little over 2 hours. Sure, that's a long movie, but it seems way longer. Especially when it's played on A&E - and it often is. Probably the best thing this movie has going for it is Jack Nicholson. I don't think any actor (past - present - future) can or will be able to play crazy better than Jack Nicholson. He plays it in pretty much every movie he's in, so he better be good at it. You can completely see how crazy this guy gets over time - totally believable. I would have killed his family and the regular caretaker too. They are all chumps and totally in the way. Ive been told the book is actually scarier than the movie. I don't tend to read horror novels anymore - not since my "Fear Street" days, but this has come highly recommended, so I'll probably give it a shot at some point.

Other movies that made it to the second tier of voting and thus deserve honorable mention are: Halloween, the Blair Witch Project, the Lost Skeleton of Kadavra, the Ring, and the Orphanage.

So there you have it. If you're looking for a scary movie to watch this Halloween (or just any ol' night that deserves a good sense of fear and dread), now you know the best - at least according to a bunch of people I know through facebook. Yeah, that kinda takes away from that scientific process I was so proud of earlier... maybe facebook isn't the bets source. Oh well. BooooOOOOOoooooOOoOoooOOOoooooo!