A Not-sensical discussion with Renfield:
After filling-in for their distorsion pedal at St. Marks Hall, I got to interview Renfield, in what I can say is probably the most unorganized interview ever done. It's got it's share of obsenities, drunkeness, and all around jibberish, so here is my best attempt at translating. It took place in the basement of the hall, next to the washrooms (that might explain the almost constant flow of drunkeness. Here is what ensued:
JM - I'm Jason Murrant. I play bass in Renfield.
JC - I'm John and I try to sing, and I sometimes play guitar.
A - I'm Adam, and I play guitar... apparently.
R - I'm Rob and I play drums.
TPS - What do you think of the local music scene?
JC - I think, that there's a lot of younger people... I feel old when I go to shows, but that's cool cause there's new people coming. It's a lot more.. diversafied (ooh's all around for use of a big word, I suppose). It's a lot different, cause like, there's bands like us that are kinda punk, and then there's like 3 Piece Suit, who are surf-rock, and then there's like...
A - Deadlock (in an evil voice)
JC -Yeah, Deadlock, and just other bands, that like, it's not just like one kind of show, like usually at some shows it's all just one kind of band, but now there starting to mix it up. Have like, metal bands playing with surf bands, and uh... folk people, like..... stuff...
A - So, do you like stuff?
JC - It tastes like burning
(many more Ralph Wiggum lines followed these ones. Some made sense, most did not.)
TPS - What's your favorite color?
JM - Red.
JC - Blue.
A - Blue, no wait, green! Ahh!
JC - You can't have blue! That's my color!
R - Green.
TPS - If you guys could play with any band, who would it be?
JM - Tool.
JC - Ye-ah-ha right!
(much laughter followed... I'm not exactly sure why...)
TPS - Well, it's any band at all...
JC - Um... Barry Manalow... no wait... Blink 182... I'd probably say it'd be pretty cool to play with Alkaline Trio, cause they're probably my favorite band.
A - I would have to say, Barry White, and AFI.
JC - Cause he gets the chicks. Barry White and AFI playing the same show?
A - Yeah... this is a perfect world.
JC - Renfield, Barry White, AFI, and Tool...
R - System of a Down. I think it'd be pretty cool to jam with them. I'd just sit there in awe.
(at this point in the interview, the first group of people came down... I dont' remember who they were, or if they were drunk, but there's probably a pretty good chance that they were. Apparently they had to pee, but there are only two bathrooms. And so, the line-up begins...)
TPS - What's your favorite kind of pudding?
JM - Chocolate.
JC - Uh.. vanilla... is vanilla pudding? (there is much ridicule from all around at John for his vanilla question).
A - Jello.
R - I don't even know any besides chocolate and vanilla..
JC - Which ever one doesn't have fish eggs.
A - Tapioca..
JC - Yeah!
TPS - No!
(there was then a great discussion on which flavor of pudding was the one with the fish eggs. No conclusion was reached. If anyone truly knows the answer, please get a hold of either thePuddingStore.com, or Renfield. It's very important. After that discussion, the interview moved to discussions of the marker fight that had occured moments ago between me and Jon Jon. Then Shawnee came down, and talked about peeing a lot. She was ridiculed greatly for this, and I said that I was gonna type out everything that she said. I probably won't though... but I could...)
(enter the drunk people. The basement is now filled by about 25 people. And the basement is just one tiny room... it's not very quiet...)
TPS - In a fight between Kristen MacLean, without the ability to stop time, and the Pope, who would win? (makes things a tad more interesting, doesn't it? No, not really...)
JC - I think Kristen would win because of his bulbous forehead; he has a lot more brain power than the pointy hat of the pope. But, the pope does have his Pope-Mobile (there is very loud laughter froma drunk guy, that kinda drowns out the tape here, but, i'll do as good as I can in translating.)
TPS - Yes he does.
JM - I'll go with Kristen. I gotta go with the bulbous forehead.
A - I'd have to say that the pope would win. Cause...
JC - You're fired! You do what I say!
A - Anyways... You see, Kristen has a counter-clockwise dragon punch, but the pope right... the pope has, like, the nut busting... and... I dunno.
JC - He's got the rings... and the pope hat...
A - Well, when his nick name is "Father Bad-Touch", then you know he's gonna kick your ass.
TPS - (to Rob), Kristen or the Pope?
R - He'd just run him over in his Pope-mobile.
JM - But, the forehead would just stop him... it's like a wall
R - Not if he's goin' like, 240km/h. Nothin's standin in the way of that.
(there is more bathroom talk for the line of bathroom waiters, an dthose just going in, including a piece on "is there anything to wipe with?")
JC - Eew... that's gross! Eew!
(Shawnee then said something quite disgusting, not realizing I was still recording. I won't fill you in on the details... it sickens me... Let's skip ahead one disturbing conversation, shall we?)
TPS - IF there could be something done to help advance the local scene, what?
JC - More naked people... Shawnee not talking... oh wait! You're still here (Shawnee then hit's him, obviously).
JM - Hover boards.
R - Hover boards, and naked people. (much moking ensued, including:)
JM - You just stole our ideas! Put all our ideas together to make a "super idea".
JC - "Hey guys! I got it! How bout we put it together!!"
TPS - "Naked people on hoverboards!"
R - With pot!
TPS - Well, obviously!
JC - Plant pots?
R - Yes.
TPS - Yeah, John's a little "Straight-Edge" for that conversation.
A - He's kinda slow.
JC - I'm from Canada... eh? (the amusing thing is... he's not from Canada. He's from Wisconsin, Japan.)
TPS - If you were captain of a pirate ship, what would be your pirate name?
JC - I'll just be "Hey you, the Pirate."
A - Captain Spatula.
(then, as seems to eb a theme, everyon got off topic. It's amazing though that no one could come up with a good pirate name. I mean, it's just "Captain _____." How hard is that?)
TPS - In conclusion, any words of wisdom for anyone?
JC - Urine is sterile. You can drink it.
A - I got a good one. Hunter S. Thompson, what he said once: "I don't advice people taking drugs, but.. well, they've always worked for me, so I don't know."
JM - I gotta go with Adam's.
R - Even if you're not paranoid, doesn't mean that they aren't coming for you.