I hate Shampoo and Capitalization.

by Alicia Penney

ok. i am ranting. i hate those damn shampoo commercials. even though my rant isn't solely related to just that, that is the main reason i decided to make one (that and james told me i "have no life and bitch constantly" thus making me suited to ranting for the pudding store. by the way, thanks james, you're a great guy). but they make me really inexplicably mad. i don't know why, maybe it's because i'm a weirdo. probably. but anyways.

ok ok. here's what i hate. you know those commercials? i hate them. that was a joke. but seriously though, i'll try and describe them to you. first of all, there's these ads for hair dye mostly (though i've seen other stupid products) on tv or in magazines. it'll show maybe the back of someone's head, then there'll be a line down the middle, or the person will walk through a magical waterfall or something and suddenly the hair is a different color. oh! the shine! oh the depth of tone! what beautiful color! DIE!

here's my problem:
1. ok. you're not fooling anybody you damn moron. we can all see that it's just one take, or one picture or whatever. how the hell is this supposed to tell me your product works? you couldn't even take two pictures! you just put a color filter over the already existing picture!
2. if someone had to take all that time to photoshop a video or picture or whatever, how likely is it that the dye or whatever is good/desirable? i mean, if it was really that magical, wouldn't they just be able to show you a real picture? they're trying to hide something... it's a CONSPIRACY! a badly masked conspiracy, but one nonetheless. it makes me so mad i use tons of exclamation points!

ok and here's the other thing i can think of right off the top of my head: cosmetics ads and stuff, that always seem to have some pathetic "new, scientific" something or other. this one doesn't make me all that angry, it's just too ridiculous. it's like "with our new viva-prime bubble air technology, we will leave your skin shiny and moisturized" and then it'll show a crappy animated diagram to "prove" how it works. like you know, a purple circle which goes and sticks to a yellow circle, all on a tan background.

seriously, if anyone buys into these things, they've gotta be handicapped or something. dummy.

this rant has been brought to you by alicia penney (aka the coolest). it was written in like 10 minutes, so frig you guys.