Earwigs: What's the point?

Yes, that's right: what's the bloody point of earwigs? As near as I can tell their entire purpose in life is to win the "ugliest little bastard on earth" award. But seriously, I have been trying to come up reasons to not stomp on the little irritants of late, and I have been hardpressed to do so... so I just stomp 'em. Heh.
I tried all the major insect excuses: "do they eat garbage thus helping decrease waste (like flies, etc.)?" No. As far as I can tell they mostly eat things in my cupboard by burrowing their ugly little bodies into boxes. "Do they keep the other insect populations in check (like spiders)?" No. Even other bugs avoid earwigs. They are the assholes of the insect world and are left to their own stupidity by other bugs (this si really true... usually if you look under a rock or something you'll find some potato bugs, some ants, and some earthworms; however when you find a group of earwigs - it's just earwigs. No one likes 'em). "Do they help till soil, and benefit all those around them (like the diligent earthworm)?" No. Instead they burrow into wood (mostly on decks and barns) and rot it. Pricks. And so on, and so on... SO I must ask: why are they even here? What practical purpose do they serve?
How come such a species, that apparently has no friends/allies in nature, hasn't been wiped out so far? I mean, I doubt there is a "Save the Earwigs Association." It simply boggles the mind with wonder.
Here's my answer: they hold the human race in pure fear! Think about it: how many things do you know that will crawl in your ear, into your BRAIN and lay eggs without any possible way of getting out?! That's absolutely horrifying in my mind. Thus, when people see them, they recoil in fear with the fear of a cranial infestation on their minds (pun not intended). Plus, they'll bite/pinch you for no good reason! Evil! How can we stop the evil earwigs? The answer is simple: we can't. We just can't. They're too many, too evil, and too crafty. And they're pretty ugly too, but I think I mentioned that.

Keep an eye out for these miniature devils... they'll be looking for you...